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"Don't just pretend that
you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side
of the good. Love each other with genuine affection"
(Romans 12:9-10 NLT).
Yesterday we talked about the importance of building strong families.
Today, I want to look at some of the practical ways to accomplish that
goal. Perhaps the first step is to avoid any inflammatory words. These are
words such as, "You never" or "You always." Such statements are rarely
true. Put-downs also need to be avoided. They are thinly veiled
expressions of hostility. It is much kinder to admit when you are feeling
hurt or angry.
In
his book, An Answer to Family Communications, H. Norman Wright
tells of a study which, compared happily married couples with unhappily
married ones. The study showed that the happily married couples:
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Talked more to each other.
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Conveyed the feeling that they understood what was being said to them.
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Had a wider range of subjects available to them to talk about.
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Preserved the communication channels and kept them open no matter what
happened.
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Showed more sensitivity to each other's feelings.
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And made more use of nonverbal techniques of communication.
Spending more time together is equally important for strengthening family
relationships. When couples are too busy for this, they are too busy.
Additionally, conflicts also need to be faced and handled creatively.
"When a married couple says they've never had a disagreement, they are
lying, have poor memory, or one partner has been made a zero in the
relationship," says Clark Hensley, director of the Mississippi Christian
Action Commission.
Wherever people are together some conflict is inevitable. Differences and
frustrations need to be talked about and resolved. If they aren't, they
will eventually be acted out through depression, ill health, or broken
relationships.
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