Morning Devotional

June 29, 2005
"The Stages of Marriage" (Part 1)   
    by Don Emmitte

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And the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him." So the LORD God formed from the soil every kind of animal and bird. He brought them to Adam to see what he would call them, and Adam chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, birds, and wild animals. But still there was no companion suitable for him. So the LORD God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam's ribs and closed up the place from which he had taken it. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam. "At last!" Adam exclaimed. "She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called `woman,' because she was taken out of a man." This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. (Genesis 2:18-24 NLT).

If you are lucky and have been married a long time, somewhere along the line you realize you've lived with your spouse longer than you ever lived at home with your parents. You know your spouse better than you did your parents or your siblings. And that feels kind of freaky the first time you think about it; but also very comforting, and stable and solid. There are, of course, a lot of critical stages in achieving this kind of comforting stability in a long marriage: the newlywed adjustment period; the arrival of children; the so-called seven-year itch; the kids leaving home; and finally, the retirement years and old age.

It seems that the changes brought by having children are among the most critical. Ironically, at least ideally in the original plan, one of the key purposes of marriage was to provide a strong, stable, and nurturing atmosphere for the rearing of children. How is it then that children provide one of the most severe tests of marital vows? We tell kids divorce is "not their fault" and yet arguments about child rearing and discipline are at the basis of many marital split ups.

I heard a florist talking recently about an unusual order that came from a father while away on a business trip. He had four sons, ages 18 months to 8 years of age, and he felt kind of guilty leaving his wife to fend for herself as he went to Dallas, Texas on business. The wife said the boys were "high strung" on the trip to the airport and it kind of went down hill from there. The dishwasher broke down, and one of the kids ended up getting sick. Several days before his planned return, he called a florist in his hometown, which was also a personal acquaintance, and ordered an arrangement that was to be absolutely "beautiful." They discussed a price range, and he placed his order. I don't know what happened next, but I assume he found out his wife was nearing the end of her rope. He called his florist back and added, "I know I gave you a price range but this has to really be take-your-breath-away stunning." I'm happy to report that in the end, the wife was "stunned" and pleased, according to the story.

Smart man. I have found that getting Mary flowers on just-for-anyhow days, not just on special occasions like birthday or anniversary, is a great way to say, “I understand.” A single carnation at 50 cents these days is cheap enough to fit anyone's budget or lifestyle. Give it a try. Tomorrow I’ll have a few more practical suggestions for making your marriage a little better, however, today do something completely unexpected for your spouse and see if it won’t make life a lot better!