Morning Devotional

July 9, 2004

"Bad Things and Good People (Part 5)"

by Don Emmitte

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Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone in need, you are only fooling yourself. You are really a nobody. (Galatians 6:2-3 NLT).

Yesterday we looked at the state of humanity and how that affects evil in the world. The basic premise was that man has a choice to make in doing good or evil. Tragically, man often chooses evil and the effects are felt among good and bad people. Today, we are going to see how our response to those times can further affect us. I believe that God helps those who stop hurting themselves.

One of the worst things that happen to a person who has been hurt by life is that he tends to compound the damage by hurting himself a second time. Not only is he the victim of rejection, bereavement, injury, or bad luck; he often feels the need to see himself as a bad person who had this coming to him, and because of that drives away people who try to come close to him and help him. Too often, in our pain and confusion, we instinctively do the wrong thing. We don't feel we deserve to be helped, so we let guilt, anger, jealousy, and self-imposed loneliness make a bad situation even worse. Too often we inadvertently find ourselves saying to people who have been hurt that they, in some way, deserved it. And when we do that, we feed into their latent sense of guilt, the suspicion that maybe this happened to them because they did somehow have it coming. The opposite ought to be true. We ought to be encouraging toward those who are suffering. This is Paul’s instruction in our reading this morning.

It is hard to know what to say to a person who has been struck by tragedy, but it is easier to know what not to say. Anything critical (“don't take it so hard,” “try to hold back your tears, you’re upsetting people”) is wrong. Anything which tries to minimize the pain (“it's probably for the best,” “it could be a lot worse,” “she’s better off now”) is likely to be misguided and unappreciated. Anything which asks them to disguise or reject their feelings (“we have no right to question God,” “God must love you to have selected you for this burden”) is wrong as well.

When things don't turn out as we would like them to, it is very tempting to assume that had we done things differently, the story would have had a happier ending. There seem to be two elements involved in our readiness to feel guilt. The first is our strenuous need to believe that the world makes sense, that there is a cause for every effect and a reason for everything that happens. The second element is the notion that we are the cause of what happens, especially the bad things that happen. It seems to be a short step from believing that every event has a cause to believing that every disaster is our fault. Our response toward others in their suffering ought to be both help in shouldering the burden and ridding them of their false guilt. As Christians we ought to say to those who have been hurt by life, “This was not your fault. You are a good, decent person who deserves better. I can understand that you feel hurt, confused, angry at what happened, but there is no reason why you should feel guilty. As a man of faith, I have come to you in God's name, not to judge you, but to help you. Will you let me help you?” Often that help is in the form of a listening ear and a compassionate heart. Is that the kind of friend you are to others? Or, are you more like Job’s friends who accused him and made him feel it was somehow his fault? Don’t blame yourself or others for the evil in the world.