Morning Devotional

June 20, 2004

"Mary Poppins' Babies"

by Don Emmitte

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And now a word to you fathers. Don't make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 NLT).

I have just returned from North Carolina and a visit with the kids. Faith and Logan are growing so quickly. Kyle and Brandy are doing such a wonderful job with them. In fact I have begun to call them “Mary Poppins’ babies” (you know, “practically perfect in every way”)! Seriously, they are doing an incredible job as parents. It is a joy to see how their family is now developing.

One of the “new” things that the twins have learned is in the use of their facial expressions. Faith has a smile that literally lights up the room. She has learned to use it well. When she is interacting with you, she smiles to engage you into paying attention to her. Logan has a wonderful smile as well, however he has also learned to make a lot more “noises.” They are both so cute that when they do these things, you can’t help but pay attention to them, even when they need to wind down for bed. It’s almost as if they were drawing me in to keep playing with them so they wouldn’t have to go to sleep! It worked very well.

The more I thought about that, the more I realized that we are supposed to be involved with our children. Of course that doesn’t mean indulging them in activities that are bad for them. When they need to go to sleep, as irresistible as their antics might be, they need to go to sleep. However, here is some really good news that might surprise you: Kids with involved parents do better in school than kids who have less connected parents. This is especially true with children and their dads. They not only do better in academics, they are strong social learners as well, feeling more satisfaction with school and friends. This is not to say that the father's touch is a guarantee. In this era of increased paternal involvement, some voluntary and some not, researchers have been spending more time trying to figure out if more fathering is a blessing or a curse. So far the bottom line is: Having a dad in your life, or someone who acts like one and feels like one, is an enduring resource for children.

This works in some interesting ways, starting with babies at six weeks of age, all of whom are born with the ability to relate differently to fathers than to mothers. Babies respond differently to their fathers' approach and touch, and the dads take the bait. In the paternal presence is this a good deal for your kids, how can busy and over-committed men stay close to kids' lives in meaningful ways? Sure, talking is nice but doing is so much better. There are lots of ways, however, the most important thing is to get time alone with your kids. It is simply irreplaceable and they won't want it forever. And the benefits go both ways. The positive effects don't just change your kids. They also change you. Spouses of men who are closely connected to kids find them more open, loving, affectionate, and emotionally powerful partners. Never underestimate what your fathering means to your children. Just remember what you liked about being fathered, or how you wish you had been, and then let your kids help you make it happen. Happy Father’s Day!