Morning Devotional

March 17, 2004

"Unanimous" 

by Don Emmitte

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Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe because someone has told us something different or because someone has cleverly lied to us and made the lie sound like the truth. Instead, we will hold to the truth in love, becoming more and more in every way like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Under his direction, the whole body is fitted together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love. (Ephesians 4:14-16).

 

I heard what I thought was a very funny commercial on the radio the other day. The announcer was discussing something with a fictional organization he called “Unanimous Anonymous.” It was a support group patterned after “Alcoholics Anonymous,” but for people who always agreed with you. It was so funny that I don’t have the slightest idea what product and/or brand name they were selling.

However, this ad reminded me of people who always agree with everything you say, whether they mean it or not. These are the “golden retrievers” of life who always want to please you. They will give you the answer they think you want. They fall over backwards to help you even when you don't want their help. Or give you things you don't even want. I'm sure you've met one or two in your life. Sometimes these people are untrue to their own self because they are very insecure and have an over-zealous need to please just about everybody in a vain attempt to get approval which they substitute for love. Sometimes they don't have a healthy sense of self-love and acceptance.

The reality is that until we can love and accept ourselves in a healthy way, we cannot fully love and accept anyone else because we can't give what we don't have. The way we grow in self-love starts by getting real; that is, by being honest with ourselves and admitting that we feel insecure and don't have a healthy sense of self-love and acceptance. Once I admit that I feel insecure, I can stop trying to prove to myself that I'm okay and get off the endless merry-go-round of trying to please everyone. This can be incredibly liberating. Furthermore, it's the only way I can do anything about my problem.

Then I need to admit how I really feel to at least one or two trusted, non-judgmental and supportive friends who won't judge me or tell me I shouldn't feel the way I do. (I feel the way I do because of who I am which has nothing to do with whether I should or shouldn't feel the way I feel. When I am courageously open and honest about myself with these trusted friends and they love and accept me exactly as I am, little by little in time I learn to love and accept myself.

It also helps to realize that God loves and accepts us exactly as we are. But he also loves us too much to leave us as we are. He wants us to grow and become whole so his love can flow freely through us to others. However, until we love and accept ourselves God's love is blocked or hindered from flowing freely through us.