Morning Devotionals

by Don Emmitte

 

May 10th, 2008

 

"Honking at Your Tail Lights (Part 2)"

Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? (Matthew 6:25-27 NIV).

Today we continue in the series dealing with distress. I want to look at some of the coping strategies that don't work. Often I have found that when stress hits, people tend to employ ineffective coping habits that produce guilt. This only adds to the stress.

Escape is perhaps the most common coping mechanism. A recent TV ad showed a harried father running to his new car to avoid noisy kids, broken plumbing, and the bill collector. With the windows up, he leans back in his leather seat, closes his eyes, and enjoys the car's premium sound system, oblivious to his daughter tapping on the window. TV fathers weren't the first to try this coping mechanism. During a raging storm, Jonah slept in the bottom of a small ship to escape his responsibility to go to Nineveh.

Overdrinking, overeating, overworking, and preoccupation with recreational activities are common stress-evacuation routes. Another coping mechanism is the "deer in the headlights" syndrome: freezing under stress and just staring at the problems careening toward you. When this happens, I still go about my daily work, but I move as if in a daze, unable to attack my responsibilities with zeal. I shuffle along numbly, hoping the stress will pass.

A third tactic is to attack. If a coworker brings stress, criticize. Neighbors cause stress? Return snide remarks. Boss causes stress? Gossip. The fourth tactic, changing circumstances, is similar. If a coworker won't be kind, change jobs. Neighbors a problem? Move. Husband creates tension? Change husbands. Changing geography, jobs, or relationships brings an immediate sense of peace, but it is not God's peace. You feel better because you have removed an irritation. The relief, however, is only temporary, and the pain is merely postponed.

The fifth coping tactic is "gutting it out." We reason: If I can just make it through the next tax season ... this school year ... the job reviews. Unfortunately, like waves of the ocean, one stress after another crashes into our lives. We go from stress to stress without a break. Hoping that your stress will dissolve without making inner changes is wishful thinking. Only a vital relationship with Christ can bring permanent relief. Tomorrow we'll look at that aspect of removing distress from our lives. Today recommit yourself to removing these tactics that don't work from your repertoire.